My own dad was this way. He taught me to think things through, to plan, to analyze. He worked as what was called a pattern maker... No, not the sewing pattern stuff. When an engineer drew up plans to make a part for a machine, he had to take the idea from paper and create the original part. From his pattern, they would make molds and then could manufacture the parts. Yeah, he had to make other people's ideas into reality. He tried to do the same for his own kids. He wanted us to turn our ideas into reality.
However, one of the most important things he taught me was to be honest without fail. To him, the most sacred thing an adult could do to a child was to keep a promise made to the child. Don't EVER tell a child you are going to do something and then not follow through with it. He knew that empty promises to children were devastating to them, whether to go to the park, swimming, fishing, or "next time we will...." He saw the pain and the broken hearts when the "next time" never happened. But even more so, he knew that it taught the child that he was not important. Worse than that, it created a future adult who would do the same thing to the next generation of children.
That kind of adult, unfortunately, is the other parent to my own sons. My sons starved for attention from their other parent while we were married. They still do. They believe every lie they are told and every promise made, in spite of a lifetime of disappointment from each and every promise broken, no matter how small of an effort it would make to keep it.
I am devastated to see them making the same kinds of empty promises to friends, teachers, employers, to other family members, to me, and worst of all, to their youngest sibling.
I have to do all that I can so that my sons will one day earn the title of being a "DADDY," not just a "father."
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