There are many ways to show someone you love them. At its most basic, fundamental level, love is taking care of someone's needs- physical, emotional, or otherwise. But when you look at it that way, that is just babysitting. Love is more than that. Isn't it?
In books, love is romanticized by sacrifices, heroic sacrifices. Soldiers make the ultimate sacrifice for their countries. But, is that love? Surely love is not bullets and bombs.
In movies, love is simply a word used for dramatic effect to legitimize a physical encounter. Love is just a euphemism for sex. It sells tickets. It creates unrealistic, idealized, photo-shopped scenes that some people use for comparison. And, when life cannot live up to Hollywood's in-your-face depictions, so many people just throw away something good, something real. They think it is not "love."
So, what is love? Most people express love in the way that they want to receive expressions of love. When you go out of your way to show the person you love that you do love them, remember, they may not express it in the same way. And, if you think that the one you love doesn't love you, stop and look at what they know and feel is "love."
Maybe Pooh said it best when talking to Piglet. Love is something you feel.
Life is a swing. In the beginning, everyone needs a little nudge, a push in the right direction. With time, you get stronger and can go higher and faster on your own. On your best days you feel absolutely weightless. Just a moment later, the weight of the world seems to be crushing you with its enormous burdens. Even if you stop and get away for a time, you could still be knocked over by another's actions when you least expect it.
But, when you are moving forward and you've gone as far as the swing can take you, you just need to overcome your fears. Let go. Jump. Fly!
I have heard over and over the almost trite saying "The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step." I disagree. Long before I ever move the first muscle to make that first step, I have agonized over all the possible outcomes, consequences, pros and cons of making that journey. What if I make it? What if I fail? What if I realize too late that this choice has taken me farther from the destination I truly desire?
I have to deliberately ask myself, "What if I DON'T try?" In my over-analysis and what-ifs, I generally overlook that fundamental question. In an abstract way, I know why I (and so many others) hesitate: it is fear. Fear of the unknown leads us all to hesitate, to pull back, and, ultimately, to give up on so many things.
So, I ask myself. "What do I want to be/do/have 3 years from now, 5 years, 10 years?" I also have to also ask myself, "What will I be/do/have in 10 years if I don't?" The answer is crushingly simple: 10 years older with 10 more years of regrets.
Today was Father's Day. I am honored to know many men who were and are tremendous fathers. They set a great example for the ones around them to follow. They work hard. They put their families needs before their own wants. They do what is right, just because it is right, not for fame, glory or attention.
My own dad was this way. He taught me to think things through, to plan, to analyze. He worked as what was called a pattern maker... No, not the sewing pattern stuff. When an engineer drew up plans to make a part for a machine, he had to take the idea from paper and create the original part. From his pattern, they would make molds and then could manufacture the parts. Yeah, he had to make other people's ideas into reality. He tried to do the same for his own kids. He wanted us to turn our ideas into reality.
However, one of the most important things he taught me was to be honest without fail. To him, the most sacred thing an adult could do to a child was to keep a promise made to the child. Don't EVER tell a child you are going to do something and then not follow through with it. He knew that empty promises to children were devastating to them, whether to go to the park, swimming, fishing, or "next time we will...." He saw the pain and the broken hearts when the "next time" never happened. But even more so, he knew that it taught the child that he was not important. Worse than that, it created a future adult who would do the same thing to the next generation of children.
That kind of adult, unfortunately, is the other parent to my own sons. My sons starved for attention from their other parent while we were married. They still do. They believe every lie they are told and every promise made, in spite of a lifetime of disappointment from each and every promise broken, no matter how small of an effort it would make to keep it.
I am devastated to see them making the same kinds of empty promises to friends, teachers, employers, to other family members, to me, and worst of all, to their youngest sibling.
I have to do all that I can so that my sons will one day earn the title of being a "DADDY," not just a "father."
Whenever things get quiet at night, there is nothing left to drown out the constant mental obsessive loop that is my brain. No kids, no job, no appliances running. Nothing to interfere. Nothing to distract. And, when you're single with no hopes of ever being in a relationship, no warm body softly breathing beside you to give you a sense of comfort and companionship. That is nothing-- knowing there is no one who wishes to be with you.
